I was all alone in the room looking on the wall, I can’t stop crying but I tried to control myself, how does the time past and now am left all alone in this room, why is this happen, lord give me the strength and only will pray for that.
Thinking deeply, memories hint me back, everything has been changed now, it was so much different then, wish I could turn back; I tried to walk again in to my past for a moment.
Well that’s was the day I met him, trying to ignore but I can’t turn back, something in him that pull me to him, but tried avoid the eye contact and walk back to my class. My 1st year of my uni is full of surprises new friends, new place, new food, everything seems to new to me suddenly, felt like I just born today…I smile to myself as I walk.
I turn back as though someone has call me, he was right behind looking at me, was I freak out for a second, he said “Hi Kishen, 1st year?” I was still in shocked wondering if it’s true or was I dreaming as always, he waved at me “what wrong are you Okie?” Then I tried to speak as much as possible to get to know him more but I only manage to say “HI” the only word comes out from my mouth. His friend came and he left, wishing he would turn, like back in day’s Tamil movies so I could smile at him, I was praying hard, but damn he did not turn and I was left all alone there.
Days go by, I never had the chance to speak to him again, but I have collected as much info about him. The only thing I pray as when I step out from my house hope he would say “hi” to me again and I promise will never missed the chance.
I will only watch him chatting with other girls, the jealousy killing me so badly, why I don’t have the guts to speak to him, my mind and my heart want to me to speak a word to him but why am not moving towards him, why am I avoiding him…I only can say I don‘t really know the answer to all the questions, My feeling was getting stronger, and am sure he know what do i feel about him, something tells me he knows that.
That day I was alone in the canteen eating an apple someone was at the back of me and say “HI, how are you” I heard that voice before, oh no is that him my heart beat increase….once I turn its Kishen, I was stunt, again speechless, he know am struggling and he said “ would you be free later for a coffee” I was like oh god he heard me , I was nodding and he said “ will see you at 6” and he left, I didn’t know if it’s true am asking myself is it true, he is calling you out!!!...i was drown in happiness it’s like a dream come true….the happiness just killed me…
At the coffee shop;
I was a little late than him, he was there waiting for me, I was nervous as I walk nearer, I was thinking “should I just turn back” it’s happening don’t ever turn back. I sat and he order cappuccino, I was like how does he know I like cappuccino, I wanted to ask but I didn’t say any, he look at me and he said” I was watching you all the while, hoping you would talk to me but you make me to wait till today, you wanted me to say it first” then I said “NO actually….” Before I finish he said “ let me finish, I want to say I like you so much, something says you are mine from the day I say you” I was like “ god what was things, he saying what I wanted to say all this while”…and he continue “ would you be my special one ” am so speechless I seriously can’t talk and I can’t move my eyes from him, his smile, his face, GOD AM DIEING…HELP ME WHAT SHOULD I SAID…I said as I look down “ I need some courage to said yes to you, will you wait for another day” he laugh “ yet you want me to wait…well there always a thrill in waiting, I will” and we drank our coffee, my phone ring, it was daddy he is waiting outside, “ I got to go now…errmm…I will see you tomorrow, well I tell you something you will amazed” he smile and he nod, I walk out, I turn and look at him something not right I can feel inside but I ignore and smile at him and walk away.
It was almost 1am and I can’t sleep, something bothering me and I don’t know what, suddenly I my phone beeping, msg from a uni friend…..
I look at my room wall again the memories was too good, and I can’t get rid of it, and I need to stop too pack my clothes am leaving to London in couple of days, and am still crying, wish I never had the msg at all, wish I never seen kishen at all, i wish kishen did not said “ he likes me” and I wish he never had that accident at all, and I wish he never leave us that soon, I wish and I wish and I only can wish…it was almost 3 years he left us, but I still can’t stop thinking about, he reminds me every single thing, as when I pass by the coffee shop, I can see him there till now!
No matter how many years or where I go, Kishen will remain as very special person inside of me, I always keep his belonging safely, he always a person that I wanted to live with…and I will live with these memories for the rest of my life…..
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